Daddy, This Is All So Wrong

I remember, Daddy
How I cried and cried
You didn’t ever really love me
And Daddy, I really tried
To be what you wanted me to be

You called me b it c h, you called me cow
Made me feel so bad inside
And I’m really feeling it now
It’s like something in me has died
I want to escape but I don’t know how

You played so many games with my heart
Tormented my mind, you may not have lifted a finger
But your words made me fall apart
And that ugliness will always linger
An ugliness you put there at the start

And Daddy I needed you
To be like those Daddies on TV
I’d always cry on cue
Each time you were nasty to me
I was scared, but what could I do?

And now Daddy I have these bad dreams
You’re in them, doing really horrid things
I don’t what this all means
But I know the pain that it brings
Is it all as real as it seems?

I don’t know if you understand
How every word killed me inside
I wanted you to take my hand
And look at me with real pride
But I guess you had other things planned

Why did you have to make me feel so torn?
I can’t remember much all that far back
But I know I felt it since I was born
How you turned everything so black
And made my soul so worn

Daddy, I needed you to love me!
Not those tainted words, it had to be real
Anyone can be a father, you were not a Daddy
Do you even know how bad you made me feel?
When you saw me tears, did you really see?

Our relationship seemed wrong
Tainted from the word go
And I try so hard to stay strong
But Daddy I still wonder if you’ll ever know
That I would be happier if you were gone

© Copyright Sharon Ardern