Everyday I feel worse and worse,
Wondered why I had been put under this curse,
This way isn't right,
These urges I must learn to fight
I don't like what is happening to me,
I don't like what I see.
My world isn't like yours,
In mine there's no escape door,
Everything keeps closing in,
Why? I'm not the one who caused sin
I haven't done anything wrong,
But bad things still continue to go on,
I need to escape this hell,
Because too many thoughts here dwell
Going crazy inside my mind,
A way free is all I want to find.
Then - I see it,
Just ahead, where there's a light lit,
Run towards this new light,
Hoping to find a better life.
Once I'm there, I am told,
Of a courage I need to be bold,
They say for me to have this new life,
I need to take this shiny new knife.
And slide it across my wrists,
It's the only way, she insists
I slowly raise the sharp blade,
"Please make this ok" I pray,
Once done, I stand back proud and strong,
Glad for what I have just done
Now, it's been years since I used the knife,
And I still haven't found my better life,
I've come to realise that the voice telling me what to do,
(God I wish back then that I knew)
What I do now,
Because then I wouldn't have made that knife to my wrists bow,
Because, for you see,
That voice was in fact....
Me
