Pushed Away By Change

You, my dear, a careless flaw, a hint of something true
Was over-ruled by haughty pride, this person is not you
Your words tell me a story, I know you want to escape pain
But I am not your reason, I am not your throbbing vein
I am not your enemy, I am not your loaded gun
My trigger is not aimed at you, its aimed at what you have become

Look beyond the thickness of this dark and hazy mess
See what these tattered, bleeding words are trying to confess
This needle drenched with red that I carry in my side
Is trickling with pain, a sharp pierce that won't subside
I cling to this dark memory, a thought of shattered hope
Thats sealed inside the letters of a small white envelope
Packed with what I thought was love, mistaken for regret
Now empty words and promises speak dreams we never met

But I am not your target, or your tension easing prop
I am not an object to continuously pick up and then drop
I am not the hands that let you plummet into hate
I am not the cold, hard thought of a dark and painful fate

Do not take these battered hands and fit them to your glove
Do not change who I am inside to make me worthy of your love
Do not tell me words of hope then rip them from my side
Do not stomp your two great feet over all my hard-earned pride

This is me, this is who I am, I've always been the same
It was not me who turned the corner, it's not my fault to blame
You're the one who fell beneath, sank into a deep abyss
You're the one that tripped over life and it's harsh bliss
It was not me who left you in a rotted pool to drown
It was not me who broke your trust when faithlessness touched down

You shut your eyes to fight off life and hide from it's dark ways
And you have yet to open them back up to see what all has changed
Life went on without you while you stayed stunted in your head
Sleeping, dreaming, wishing, hoping, praying in your bed
I grew up, I caught on to your lies, I found out who you were
I watched your decline, the end of you, I saw it all occur

Now I stand so far from you, for your words keep me away
You've pushed me further and further, by your side I cannot stay
I've tried to love you as best I could, I tried to be your savior
But your cruelness told me to go, as though I was an invader
So I kept my distance, while it broke my heart to see
Your broken life turn into hate, as you began to forget me

^ Perhaps you may not understand. But that's quite alright.