These thoughts

These thoughts are not mine
What happened?
This is not who I used to be.
I used to be happy.
I’m not the same
I you may think I'm happy
But, in reality I’m not
I don’t even know who I am any more
I don’t even know if my friends are real.
I can’t tell anyone how I feel
I’m supposed to be the one that helps people
Now who can I go to when I need help?
Who’s going to help me?
I can’t ask for help not after all this time

So, I build up and build up my problems
My emotion until I pop,
I end up hurting myself
But these thoughts
These insecurities are still there
Is there no end?
I don’t know how much more I can take
I want out
Want someone help?
But I'm afraid to ask
Afraid to tell
Even though I know I need help
If I don’t I’m gonna take care of the problems myself
And then there will be no more problems
So help how before it’s to late
Please!