You will never understand

I looked up at you and saw you crying,
Because in front of you I was dying,
You are angry and say I cut in vain,
But it's the only way to release this pain.
If you really do honestly care,
Why weren't you there in my time of despair?
Do you really think I like what I've done?
Do you really think that I find it fun?
I can tell you I don't and that it's a constant struggle,
To work out how to end this puzzle.
It's hard for me to stop because I am obsessed,
And when I don't cut I become more depressed.
If only you could understand how I feel,
And all of things in which I've had to deal,
You don't know how I am feeling,
But when I die, you will soon start believing.