Yeah I did write it as a song, it is a song but I submitted it here in the format of a poem, there are two chorus' in it the "Would you like a band-aid?..." and the "I'll pour you out..." parts thanks for your comments

Whoops thanks for pointing that out, it's supposed to be "I can make you innocent" but I had it written down as "I can be your innocent" origanally and I guess I accidently typed a combination of what I was thinking and what I had wrote down on accident, I'll fix that right now!

WOW....i was actually singing when i was reading this...ahah GREAT SONG!!! I loved it, you managed to capture my attention and i totally adored it. You totally rock
take care always
Scooby

Great song! Sometimes you cant fully appriciate songs when they are just written, but this one is brilliant written so i can imagine how great it would be with music. Keep writing songs like this, it could get you somewhere.

A very stunning set of lyrics you have there! Beautifully written with great description... every word that you wrote I loved, I can't even think of any critizism for it. Well done! And I hope one day these lyrics can become a fully developed song.

that was good! i really liked it!! keep it up!!

That was really good. I loved it! I think you definately deserved a five on this. Keep up the good work and take care,
Rachelxx

It was really good and I can kinda visualize the beat but you can cut out some of the verses like someone else said. Other than that it was awesome. Honest 4. Take care.
-Conner

wow.. .that was really good, definately 5/5 xxxx

wow thats a fantastic song! i would love to hear you sing/play it lol its a wicked poem song whatever its excellent! your heaps talented! 5/5
bec xXx

wow I loved it! great job!! 5/5

I loved the basic wording and bridges and chorus... overall I really enjoyed reading it, but.. I thought it was a bit repititive after you read the same thing two or three times.. I know it's a song, but still too long-winded.

Holy crap. That was harsh, and hard to comprehend, and awesome.

You caught my courisity, there is a song bye Metallica called Cure, but it's nothing akin to my song.

omg! This poem is so good! I can't believe it. I wish I could hear this as a song somehow... Wow these words were so great! I love it!! :) I love this part
I’ll tear your soul to pieces
And act like things are fine

I don't know why but it stood out in my mind. Two very powerful lines. Great job hun. Keep it up!!
Check out some of mine.

Love,
Tiff

fantastic 5

Wow, this is so good! It's.. just so excellent!! Keep it up!!

Love,
Tiff

Great Song =)
5/5

great song, but can you sing it ;) Check out some of my poems

brilliant! keep up the great writing