The Angel Burns

Ummmm... The most unique poem i've read thus far.... thats a good thing though... you get major points for originality :)

I liked it very nice start. Though, as you said it seems no where near completion.... keep working on it I can't wait to see the end result!

I havent scored because you say it isn't finished, but my first impression is that it's building very nicely. Form and prose are evenly matched and the tale is interesting.

(When you do finish it I can't see it scoring less than a five.)

Bert

I still think the two angel poems is too alike, even thought teir very different:)

Admittedly, I think that this poem is quite beautiful as it is. While grim, tragic (as were the witch trials), there is a musical quality to the poem as it is.

But along those lines, you might try placing "And the angel burns..." as a refrain after each stanza.

Likewise, you have the rhyme scheme per stanza of "eyes", "dies", "lies"... and then you break it in the fourth stanza. I'm not exactly sure what to place instead of that final line and the following, but perhaps something like this:

"In the silence a blinding light she spies"

And then:

"As thus,
The angel flies"

That would keep the rhyme-scheme if it's at all important. I really do think this is a beautiful poem as it is. I'm not sure that what I suggested will make it better, but it is currently a wonderful ode to the thousands of innocents slain during the witch hunts, and the general murder of pagans in Europe who were unwilling to accept Christianity.