Everything Has Changed In Me

The world
Once I could say
Was safely at my feet
But times changed
And it slipped away

I’m not
Really quite sure how
I spend hours thinking
And all I know
Is that it’s not that way now

Where once
My hand was held in another
Now a blade lies there
I hate how I’ve changed
And what it does to my Mother

In the street
I pass people who once were
People I brushed up against
Same world, then … but now
That world is a blur

I wish
I could wave a wand, put it right
Make me smile and feel charmed
But all I have is my depression
To curl up with tonight

And I know
I cut too much, I’m not always sure why
What feelings drive me there
But I’m aware that one day
It could go too far, and I could die.

And is it strange, that that doesn’t bother me?

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005