Torn

I'm completely torn, I don't know what to do
Should i put myself first or think of you?
I've been so strong for such a long time
Should i risk it all even though you're not mine?
It hurts so bad to have to choose
Because if i say no, it's you I'll lose
That's the last thing i want, you know it's true
But i don't feel ready to meet and see you
I just need some time, to help me decide
What i said on the phone ... I never lied
I still have feelings, i really do care
But this decision is forcing my heart to tear

-- Any advice would be greatly appreciated --