Am I invited

I’m longing to go to the party
am I allowed to come
you have pretty angels there
no bad men with guns
I’m sick of this land god
with only horrible things
the innocent are dying
and nobody cares of such things
what am I to do
I’m a spec of sand on a beach
You know they don’t see me
Even if they get close lord
There feet never burry deep enough to touch me
But you do lord you understand
You pull me out
To you I’m an individual
I’m special
Not to them I’m not
You see how they treat me
Lord cant I come to your party
I don’t like this place any more
Let me come please
Gifts don’t please you
Your more true then that
So what do I bring
I have nothing worthy to give you
I feel your warmth but what am I to offer back
What if I force myself upon your party lord
Would that be wrong
It’s against everything isn’t it
I’m not brave enough to do it
If I did lord I’d be as bad as them lord
I’m not am I
I wont do it lord I couldn’t be that rude
To interrupt your party like that

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This Is about a girl who is not happy with life and feels useless and unimportant, she is discussing suicide and being in heaven "gods party" and she decides its wrong to force herself there (as in kill herself) and that she would be bringing pain to people if she did and would be just as bad when she could help people even if she is only small in this big world