Mad at me more than you are

For all of you suicidals you know when you tell people your gonna kill yourself but your not actually, you just kinda say you are to get attention or see if people care. I'm not suicidal but I gave my good friend the impression I was when i told her I was gonna kill myself as a stupid joke. I didn't talk to her until 2 days later when I found out she had been crying for those past 2 days, so when you do this please know that you can really effect someone this way it really scares people. Now I feel so bad that words cant express how I feel, But maybe this can.
This is dedicated to my good friend Azera.

What I did was stupid
I'm quite aware
I'm sorry I upseted you
I didn't mean to give you a scare
I don't blame you for being mad
As I am With myself
I made you feel sad
I'm responsible for the pain you felt
And As the frozen tears in my eyes begin to melt
I cant help but feel like the worst person alive
I'm the cause of those tears fallen from your eyes
And thats more than enough for me to want to cry
For every tear you drop tightens the knot of my emotion
But no worries I'm alive
Don't ever worry about me ill survive
This soldier would do anything for you
From dieing to joining hi5

What are friends for
Your the greatest friend
I couldn't ask for more

I ask of your forgiveness but i don't expect it
For I cant even forgive myself
But this is my way of saying I'm sorry if you will except it
Even though I was bad for your health
but heres my apology I don't blame you if you reject it

I just cant loose you
loosing you is something I would never get used to
But i don't deserve you
emotionally i abused you
Id never hurt you but I did
I pray I didn't bruise you

A stupid joke it was meant to be
But I wasn't joking when I Said
your the best thing that ever happened to me.