Caught In The Middle

I want to write a poem
To express how I feel
But if I write it down,
It will make it real

And I have been running
Trying to escape my mind
But no matter how I run
It won’t stay behind

So I can either
Keep pushing it away
Or face it now, here
Today.

* * *

now I’m trying to write the poem
but I can’t seem to begin
shall I start with the scars
on my heart, or on my skin?

OK, I was running cos I was scared
I feel I’ve let myself down a lot
And sometimes if I don’t run
I feel I start to lose the plot

So I can either
Fight this thing through
Or run away again …
What shall I do?

* * *

so here is my poem
a small segment of my hell
just one tiny poem
with so much left to tell

I’m not running
No, I’m still sat here
No blade to run with
Just not easy to conquer fear

So I either
Stay and continue with the fight
Though it feels so horrid
Or I can slip back to what\\\\\\\'s wrong, but feels right.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005