Help mom

I'm burning words inside of me
they're refusing to let out
my hands violently shaking
but my mouth wont let me shout

sweats dripping in my eyes now
i begin to feel the hate
pulsing through my every vein
its something only you create

i want to fight this anger
forget those godforsaken years
i just want you to hear me out
maybe even wipe my tears

but i suppose my time was wasted
for this message is unread
although i am your daughter
you don't hear the words Ive said

so ill let you in on a secret
that Ive been doing every night
while i hold my covers close
after i turn out the light

i shut my eyes to fight the tears
and i whisper to my Savior
what a life i have been living
and this was my sweet prayer

dear god why does it hurt so much? to long for her smile and loving touch?
dear god how come I'm not the one she loves? and I'm never the one shes thinking of?
dear god when will she save my empty heart? will she destroy it and tear it apart?
dear god what must i do to be the daughter she desires? will i become the ashes of her never ending fire?
dear god I'm sorry i am not good enough for you or even her so i think its time to let go of what we never were

and finally one day
she took it much to far
and i became her victim
my body bares the scars

after all Ive been through
Ive learned that life's unfair
i decided its best to end mine now
and this was my last prayer

dear god
take good care of mom cause now i guess i see
she really needs this prayer so much more than me

please comment it would mean a lot to me