Wow, strong metaphors and description there! Very well done, I can see you'll be a very talented member to this site :)

thats a good poem i loved it! ^_^

Beautiful, it was so pretty and your words were enchanting. Keep it up! Take care!

Incredible. This is the first poem of yours I read, and you're officially on my fav list. Awesome.

Very, very good vocabulary!! You went really "DEEP" within your poem! i love that.. good job!

Good metaphors. Good usage of words. I have a doubt,
“But as its seconds becomes years”
Is it ‘become’ or ‘becomes’ at that point? I was uncomfortable to pronounce all the “s” sounds in that particular line. Ignore me, if it makes no sense.