Cancer (Five Weeks Left To Live)

I’m going to die.
They told me today
I have to say goodbye
Cos I’m about to fly away

I found a lump, got so scared
The doctors confirmed my fear
I just was not prepared
For what I was to hear

They took the lump from my breast
Chemotherapy stole my hair
I went through test after test
But the cancer had spread everywhere

They tried all they could
But nothing could cure me
They told me it was just no good
They had nothing to say to assure me.

So I went for a test today
And they told me it was true
I was going to die, not straight away
But I wouldn’t be able to pull through

I haven’t cried, it’s not sunk in
How do I tell my family?
About this disease under my skin
That’s soon going to kill me?

And worst of all, how do I tell my son
Who is only just turned four
That he’s going to lose his mom?
That he won’t see her anymore?

How can I say it? Should I say anything?
How can I say never again
Will he hear me speak, laugh and sing
How can I prepare him for the pain?

* * *

it’s a few days on
They say I have only a matter of weeks
And then I will be gone
Now the tears are sliding down my cheeks

I’m gonna miss so much
My son’s first day at school …
He’s gonna cry for my touch
And I can’t comfort him at all

I tell my family that I’m going to die
I tell them to look after him for me
They can’t help but cry
And ask god how can this be

I don’t know what god has planned
I only know the tears that will flow
And how my little son won’t understand
Why his Mommy had to go.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005

* This hasn’t happened to me, but I know it’s a reality many people face. This poem’s dedicated to all those touched by cancer, including my Granddad … I hope it’s gone for good for him. x x x x