The life that never was

I can’t do it anymore
I’ve given up of trying
Of living through this nightmare
Though I smile, inside I’m dieing

I try to tell myself
That it can’t get any worse
But I honestly believe
That as a child my soul was cursed

Destined to lead a life
Never to talk about how I feel
Worries doubts and fears
The wounds that never heal

For nothing cuts as deep
Words with no love
Empty and without feeling
No help to me was offered

Instead I just don’t make it
And always fall just short
Knew my presence in a room
Would never strike a chord

A smile to pacify
A laugh to go along
The world will never know the pain
I’ve kept inside me for so long

Until they find a shadow
That wavers in the light
The shape of scars and torment
Whose outlines not quite right

For my light has been extinguished
Fire drowned from my eyes
Cut off from deadly oxygen
I can’t live this life of lies

No more will the pain haunt me
No chains to bind or hold
For my life will then be over
A life not shown the world

But you will soon forget
The life that never was
For the soul that was inside me
Was never found, always was lost

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