Letting go

I've written other suicide poems
But this time is for real
I'm now ending my pain
Because this sh!t is to much to feel

Blinded by exasperation
Knocked down by words
I open my mouth
But close it again, because nothing I say is ever really heard

I hate when darkness falls
The thoughts inside of me come alive
Never leaving me, taking over
I don't know why I even try

"Perfect so beautiful...
In every single way.."
I can't and don't believe this
Because my imperfections fight against what you say

I wish I could tell you all the secrets
And I wish you had known
Because my past takes the credit
For me finally letting go..