I Feel That I, Was Born To Die

I remember people saying that I
Could MAYBE one day be happy
But days turned to months
And I sunk further into me

Mom, I know that I
Have made some mistakes
Truly messed stuff up
Everything I touch, breaks

And I am sorry, and I
Want you to know I love you
Even thought it feels
That you don’t love me too

Mom, I remember how I
Was so broken and used
I try to tell you these things
About how I was raped and abused

And I wish that I
Could turn back time to the start
Maybe then prevent the pain
And try again to win a place in your heart

Mom, you see me and I
Cry deep inside cos your eyes
Don’t seem to really look
And I wish you would realize

But I guess now it’s time that I
Erased myself for good
I’m sorry it never got better
I’m sorry nobody ever understood

Mom, I bleed now and I
Have pills inside, to end my hell
Too late to take them away now
I’m sorry you didn’t catch me when I fell.

I’m fading now, inside I
Feel the pain more than ever
You’re not here now to say goodbye
I’m sorry, that that maybe was always gonna be never.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005