To All Those Who Screwed Me Up

All alone
Stood against time
Empty space, empty home
Nothing here is mine

Haunted and deceived
Everything he said
I believed
Now it’s shooting holes in my head

I lie awake at night
Just trying to stay calm
Can’t seem to get it right
So I slice a blade across my arm

Trying to figure out what went
While I was trying my damn best
Men then thought I was up for rent
They paid me words but not the rest

No circumstances I can avoid
Now standing here afraid
My whole little world destroyed
Reaching out to find my blade

An easy answer to what I will not face
This empty home
Where I feel out of place
And I am left to lick my wounds alone

And I say sometimes, I won’t be blind
I’ll open up my eyes and see right through
But then I guess I mistook you for kind
And I fell apart in front of you

Everyone of you who screwed with my mind
Or tore chunks from my fractured heart
You know these chains can’t unbind
You knew and loved it right from the start

And I so bad want to stand
And say I am strong, you didn’t break me
But then I’m woken by your hand
And I feel the pain shake me

So shall I just lie here
Save you putting me down again
I am weak, you know I live in fear
So come and deliver me my pain.

And all my life, it is foretold it will be the same.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005