The Old Mask Still Fits Well

Close my eyes to see only mist
Open them to see the cut on my wrist
Look around to see the blade I can’t resist
Look back and grieve for what I’ve missed

Today was just another day
To listen to the mindless things they say
To be told I should bend my knees and pray
When all I want is to just fade away

And in my heart I ache for peace
For that day when strife will cease
In need of my bloody release
Staring at my soul and see it’s creased

And everything I thought I owned
Turns out it was all merely loaned
I’m disabled but not broken boned
Just need to be re homed

Brush away my tears settle down to sleep
Fighting the thoughts that want to sink deep
Trying so hard, but not able to keep
The things I love, and so I weep

I feel naked I exposed myself in denial
Swore there laid nothing beneath my smile
Screaming at myself all the while
For setting myself back another mile

So let’s just sit here, patiently wait
See if I can handle my fate
And hope my rescuers didn’t call too late
As I sink further into this blinded state.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005