Forbidden

I can't watch you cry your tears
I keep asking myself
"Why am I here?"
All I do is hurt you
along with myself
forever scarred
Just thrown on a shelf
I look in the mirror
Hating the girl I see
Through cuts
I try so hard
To be the person I used to be

The truth I lock away
But the pain is here to stay
I'm so sorry I'm not the person you think I am
I'm not myself
And never will be again
The person I used to be
Is the person I wish you could see

I don't want to cover up anymore
I hate buying the things I do when I'm at the store
Band aids
Razors
Aloe to
Anything to keep my lips from turning blue
Standing in line
I hide my eyes
Afraid of what the people may find.

Secrets
and silent cries
I hide them from you
Because theres nothing you can do
I know you love me
And I love you to
And thats another reason I keep this secret from you
You are my mother
And to me you mean the world
Living without you I just could not do
In fact I wouldn't even try
You would be my end
Nothing left for me but time to cry
I see your motionless body
And all my rules bend
Forbidden pills
Are taken again
In and out of the emergency doors
Bleeding from my soul so sore
Ready to see you once more.

© By Cari 2005