I wrote my story for you my dear
To help you understand
Why sometimes I can pull away
From a particular touch of your hand
I wanted you to understand
How it’s really hard to cope
With the day to day realities of abuse
And why I sometimes give up hope
I wanted you to know the truth
The damage it’s left in my heart
Why I struggle to cope in relationships
But why I hate us being apart
I only meant to try to help you see
As usual I got swept away
In trying to make myself feel proud
Instead of hearing what you have to say
I feel let down with how you feel
Because it’s made me the person I am
For each fingerprint he left on my skin
To hell I will be damned
I wanted you to be the only one
Who would truly know me inside
I wanted you to understand
Every single tear I’ve cried
I know I react badly to hurt
I withdraw and push you away
I can’t cope, I hide, I run
And I know this frustrates the hell out of you
But trust for me its not much fun
I guess I wanted you to be
Just like my imaginary friend
I thought you’d always care about me
Thought you’d support me until the end
And now I feel so alone tonight
Let down, a fool to even believe
That all my demons could be gone
That this internal darkness would leave
So I’ll take it on the chin with the rest
Put on my face and smile
And try to recapture the way it was
Get how safe I felt for a while
And my story will appear in black and white
Of the rape of my mind, heart and soul
And I’ll walk towards the end alone
Trying to achieve my ultimate goal
Now regardless of how you feel about me
I’m proud for the first time in my life
My only regret, my biggest of yet
Is that I let you down as a wife
I only wanted to give you some pride in me
A reason to believe I could succeed
And I saw this so clear, I wanted it so bad
I didn’t stop to take heed
So I’ll take this pain and bury it inside
With the other scars under my skin
And I’ll close of my heart and my battered soul
And I’ll just keep everything in
