If only

Now that you’re gone,
I don’t know what to do
I've known you forever
And now I’m all alone.
Everyday we were together,
And if I had known then,
That it would not last forever,
I would have cherished every minute.
I thought that I could help you,
I was the one who understood.
I knew what you were going through,
But I guess it was not enough.
The day you hung up the phone,
Was the day you changed my life.
I knew something was wrong.
If I hadn’t wasted time,
And listened to my gut feeling,
You might still be here.
If I hadn’t made that call,
If I had just ran out the door,
We might still be spending time together
Making memories.
When I reached your front door,
I knew I was too late.
I ran to your room anyways,
Only to confirm my fears.
If I hadn’t stood there so long,
If I had called for help,
You’d still be with me,
You would make me feel better,
Take away my pain.
Everything was red,
The bed,
The floor,
Everything.
I remember holding you,
Telling you not to go.
I wanted to die too.
I held you while you died,
Bleeding from your wrists.
I felt as if I was being torn apart,
My anguish,
My fear,
My life,
Was tearing me apart.
Every night,
I dream of that day.
Everyday I wake up,
Believing it was all a dream,
And you’re still around.
If only I was a better friend.
If only I had been more sensitive.
If only I could have taken away your pain
If only,
The two words that haunt me,
And will for the rest of my life.
I miss you.
Come back.
(true story, my best friend committed suicide a couple of years ago, i watched her die, i held her while she died. not something you easily forget) please read and comment