Where did my heart go ?

Each day id wake up smiling,
Just knowing he was there.
Each time i had a problem,
He were there to care.

He was my childhood sweetheart,
And my first true love too.
And i meant it when i told him,
That i really did love you.

But one day when i woke up,
He had disappeared.
Then i received a phonecall,
Telling me what i had feared.

They told me that my Ryan
Was dead.
He was out shopping when,
He was shot in the head.

He had been in the jewelers,
Buying an engagement ring.
When robbers came in storming,
And stole everything.

He put up a fight,
But got in the way.
The gun went off,
Much to Ryan's dismay.

Ryan held the gun,
He had killed a man.
He just stood there,
He should have ran.

But his mind was confused,
He was frightened and scared.
He looked at the body,
Stood there and stared.

Then he looked at the gun,
And turned it around.
He eyes shut slowly,
Then there was a terrible sound.

I dropped the phone devastated,
My boyfriend was dead.
Why had a he shot himself,
Straight through the head ???