I dwell in thought. His hand in mine, his nose caressing my own, and his hands upon my body as we share passionate kiss. Breathing gets heavier; heartbeat increases.His deep eyes stare forever in my endless state of mind. I long for it all, to re-live it forever...the moments, I had them. Now they are gone. And for what? So I can fall again, deeper than ever before...into MADNESS. I never want to see the light of day again. It should suffer as I...a never ending cycle. Oh to be NORMAL! To feel the light as others do. I live in darkness, it consumes me. Oh to kill, give one all my pain. To ease or perhaps set me free. Or perhaps SUICIDE. Free me from my pain. I don't want to cry anymore. I am worthless. Not worthy of love and happiness. I am to suffer in my darkness. Why must I be unhappy...am I ungrateful perhaps? My family cares, and so do my friends. I do not deserve such people. They deserve better than me. I am selfish. I make their lives worse. All I do is complain or rant, it gets me nowhere. Send the pain below to suffocate. Ripping of flesh to reveal ever-flowing blood. I need love, I need help...
