Sometimes I want to cry out,
Sometimes I want to hide,
I'm made to be broken,
So that's what they do.
I'm made to be hurt,
So everyone hurts me.
I'm made to get use to it.
So I do.
But why?
Why don't I just go away and never look back.
Never moving forward,
So there'd never be a path.
I'm used to my daily ritual,
and how my life is.
Waking up, going to school,
Going home, eating,
Going to play practice, pretending.
Go home and put some smile Empty Soul on,
Then cry myself to sleep, listening to Linkin Park's "It's Easier To Run."
I do this every day.
I never take my mask off,
Never let my guard down
No one has ever seen the real me.
Except for one,
Irene Lang.
My best friend, Sister, my enemy.
What happened?
I got stupid.
I said she changed.
I didn't mean it the way it sounds,
I meant that she changed and I wasn't around.
She moved to Florida when I was only twelve.
We've been friends since we were two or three.
Now she says we should make new friends and not talk to each other.
I miss her, only god knows how much.
I tried to apologize, but she didn't forgive.
Instead she asked me why.
I don't know why.
She told me she wasn't going to talk to me anymore.
Finally after Three years of being tough I cried.
I don't understand it know, But I did then.
I didn't Cry for me.
I Didn't Cry for her.
I cried for the person I used to be.
I used to be a carefree girl.
The one who didn't give a shit.
Then I grew up and faced the real world.
I learned the ways to keep from getting hurt.
If you don't feel joy, then it can't turn to pain.
Why do I feel like this?
Nothing is the same.
I dislike feeling happy,
Because from that moment on,
I'm waiting for something bad to happen.
What did my parents expect?
A perfect child?
No one gives a shit, as long as I smile.
So I made my mask,
And put on my fake smile.
No one sees what I've become.
I figure if I leave this mask on long enough,
Then I'll start believing it to.
If I can fool everyone.
Then I can fool me.
No one hears,
No one sees,
I'm made to be broken.
Yes, this I know.
But sometimes my wish is to,
be able to let go.
