I like this, it's got some serious passion.

You know what i was thinking when i read it though....i'd love to see it as free form verse with a little bit more mystery to it.

I'm not saying scrap it....but well i'm just spitting my thoughts...it was good but slightly predictable in terms of the flow....da da da da da da....sort of like a jingle..it's catchy but ain't gonna win any awards.

No offence.

I liked this poem a lot. I give it a 5! Keep on writing!
-Kristin