Realization

*First off, this isn't really anything. Just me rambling about the fact that one of my best friends is leaving me. he's one of my closest friend and the guy i like. Just put up with my rambling. Please. Note names were changed just in the off chance someone reads this who knows him.*

I remember, the first time i saw him. He walked into seventh hour, towering over Marie and Sophie. They were all laughing, at some inside joke that the had. Sophie looked at me and Andrew, and can-alien and giggled, "YAY novices. we get to torture new people!" he just kind of smiled. like, "I'm to good to be talking to you novices." I immediately became friends with Sophie and Marie. They were seniors, but they were nice. When Marie dropped debate because she was having family troubles i was left with him and Sophie. I remember, how i had to prove myself a good debater to earn his liking. Pathetic i know, but after that we became pretty close. I know a lot about him, and he does me. That was when realization hit.
I had a thing for a friend of mine. A friend who was a senior, had a girlfriend, and was going to leave after this year.
I remember, making myself work extra hard. Just so i would be good enough. I remember going to every tournament i could, just to be around him. To see him smiling. This one time at sweeps, i beat a really good varsity person. Matt. i remember telling him and him grinning, "You beat Matt?! Good girl!" i remember how his hug felt when he hugged me in a congratulatory way. My heart leaped. That was when realization hit me, like a tidal wave *cliche i know, but that's how i felt* He thought of me like a little sister, i thought of him as more. That was when realization hit me, that if he ever did find out, those 15 hours we spent together every Saturday
would be very awkward. Realization hit me that we could never be more.
I remember how the first night of some two day tournament...Sweeps that was it! i remember how my dad was not there to pick me up from our high school yet. We sat in his series 3 BMW that he was so proud of, rocking out to a mix he had made. Simply because, the guys basketball team had just won their game and in his own words, "those guys are horny. there is no way I'm letting you get raped. I like you to much." That was when it hit me once again, i was like a little sister to him. I remember watching him at a tournament, the way he looked when he was studying. his upper lip slightly curled. I remember the way he took 90 million pictures of me on his camera, simply because he wanted to take pictures and no one else would pose for him.
Now, it's nearing the end. just a few more months and then no more of him.
That was when realization hit me,
I had fallen for one of my closest friends.