They Locked Me Up - True Story.

* I wrote this poem a few months ago, it happened in either May or June last year, I don't remember. It may be familiar to some because I posted it in my old account, too.

I don’t quite know how it happened
One day I just started to cry and scream
I kept trying to run from them
But they kept me there, watched me behind their little screen
And when I kept on trying
They wrestled me to the floor
Two people at first
Then three, then four
They put a mat under my head
Because I kept banging it on the ground
The psychiatrist came, and I screamed again
It was such a pityful, desperate sound
And I began to watch the scene
I wasn’t in my body, I had no control at all
I watched them struggle and reason with me
I watched my panicked face, and I watched my tears fall
Then a fifth nurse came under doctors orders
He told me I had to calm down, I had to have this pill
I screamed I wouldn’t, I didn’t want any more drugs in me
I said I won’t take it now, and I never will
Trouble is I was under a section and had no choice
So they got a needle and injected it in me
And I cried and screamed as the five of them pinned me down
I wasn’t watching anymore, my eyes too full of tears to see
I can’t remember how long I stayed like that
But soon they realised I needed to be somewhere secure
They took me to the adult place, the safe place
They were locking me up, instead of finding a cure
They took my shoe laces, my C D s, even my alarm clock
And left me in a bare little room with a window in the door
And I curled up tight, crying silently now
Biting down on my flesh till I wasn’t crying anymore
And as I sat there staring at the cold white walls
Thinking about all those people who lied
Saying it would be okay, I swore to myself there and then
Shaking and lonely, I swore I would have my suicide.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2004- 2005