Pain

He hits me as I scream back no.
I wish he would just let me go.
He takes me to his room and hurts me once again.
I try and go to a happy place..
I imagine myself in outer space.
That way I would be far, far away from him.
So I would never have to be hurt again.
Finally the night is over,
He lets me go back to my room.
My room is cold, dark, scary; it makes me weary.
Then the day begins.
I go to school, eat, come home, and soon get ready to sleep.
I hope he doesn’t come in my room tonight.
I hide under my blankets,
All warm but scared.
I hear the knob turning,
I see him there.
I start to get scared.
He pulls the covers off, takes me by the arm, and drags me into his room.
He orders me to take off my clothes.
I listen in fear of what he might do if I don’t listen.
He tells me to get on his bed.
I do.
He takes of his clothes, and gets on top of me.
He starts raping me, touching me everywhere.
I hate it!
I try to leave,
He hits me.
I scream,
He pulls my hair.
I see him look at the window,
Its open.
I push him off and run towards his gun.
By the time I got there,
He’s by the window.
I pull the trigger, he falls out the window,
Dead.
I run to the phone and call 911.
I tell them what happened.
They believe me.
A few months later in court, they ask me how many times I let him rape me.
I say I never let him rape me,
But he did it about 10 times.
They ask me why I didn’t tell.
I say because I thought no one would believe me,
Or I would get hurt worse.
When the trial is almost over, they ask me one last thing…
If I still loved him.
I said “love is a gift, in which he clearly didn’t deserve.
I loved him because he was my dad,
But not any more,
Because he hurt me.”
They tell me I can leave, so I do.
Later I was found not guilty of 1st degree murder.
He killed my mom because she knew what he did to me,
And was going to tell.
I killed him because he hurt me and killed her the night before,
Right in front of me.
Now I always say “love is a gift, use it, don’t abuse it.”