As I wait for his call in my living room, I think about how life is unfair, how much I fell in love with him, and knowing he does'nt even care. He hustles 24/7, has no time for me at all. Just to be at his side, I try to make everything so small.
I cry at night, I feel loneliness sweep through my body. I dream of his kisses and his skin just calling me. I miss him, I miss the days we spent time together, now I feel my body get colder. Colder because I know how much I love him, and I wish those days were'nt over.
But over anything, i've done my part as his girl, to stand as a soldier, through anything, good time, and bad times as well. I know he needs me, every time I look at him I see fear in his eyes. Fear of one they getting shot or fear of just to die. I see myself in the mirror, and I look into my eyes. I see danger filled up in them just because of this one guy. If only he knew how much I love him, how much I`m risking my life for him. How my life has become a living hell cause of the love I have for him.
But I'm strong enough in my heart, and I knew someday this will all end, to see him get shot and resting in a hospital bed. I cry, I cry my heart out to him, something I wouldn't`t even there. But dying in that bed, he proved my doubts wrong and told me he did cared.
Today were not together, I couldn't take it anymore, no matter how much I loved him, I just remember the hour when he left and closed the door. The fantasies care and love was gone, I had to leave it at that because the pressure was too strong.
But I learned from my mistakes and refuse to commit them again, I have a life to live and a future ahead. This experience was a blessing that was sent from above, now I realize that I was just another girl that fell in love.
