Wondering -Suicide note-

As I write this I wonder
I wonder, will you ever read it
There's only one way that is possible
The only way you will read this is if I succeed
Only if I die
I'm sorry if I hurt you
I've made so many mistakes
For God's sake, I am a mistake
I'm wondering if I should say personal good byes
Should I try and make you understand why?
I don't know how to start
I've tried so many times
So many unseen final good byes hide in my room
But this ones different
For tonight really is my time
Mummy and Daddy, For this I am truly sorry
I love you from the bottom of my heart
How do I explain to you the pain I felt
Where do I start?
I guess it's like a hole
A hole only one person can fill
Although they won't
It's like emptiness
You're unable to feel anything but hate
I guess all I really needed was a true friend
Actually I only needed one person to turn around
To forgive and forget
I'm not saying names
I'm not giving you someone to blame
For I died because I couldn't have her as my best friend
But it wasn't her fault
In fact it wasn't her fault at all
It's mine for ignoring what she had to say
For giving her a chance to walk away
She meant the world to me
It's my fault, I hate myself
All of this is my fault
Mummy, thank you so much
Thank you for trying to protect me from the worlds harsh reality
But somehow it reached my soul
Daddy please don't cry
Thank you all for your love and support
Please, none of you cry
It's for the best
Believe me I'm happier this way
Gav, my biggest brother
I love you and I thank you
Thank you for trying to protect me from the world and the people in it
Justin, I know we had our fights but you're always there
I love you too
Jad, Life's tough, I know, Keep pulling through
You can do it
I believe in you, I have faith in you
Well, good bye
This is my end tonight
I'm sorry and I thank you all so much
My friends, you pulled me through this far
Thank you for sticking by my side
I guess I just wasn't strong enough
"some say that time changes, best friends can become strangers"
I never wanted that for us
Without you I got nothing
I'm sorry and good bye

**I wasn't actually going to commit suicide although I wanted to, I couldn't!! Please rate and comment!**