Up Till Now

You haven’t got me yet
It hurts but my eyes are dry
You all stand so close, smiles staring hard
I’m not finished yet

There is that crimson mark and its depths
But it hasn’t spread yet
I can pick up this pistol
I haven’t shot you yet

Everything’s in slow motion
As I pick you out, all of you
Have I found you yet?
Are you lying down yet?

You’re all down and I’m up here
My heads in these red clouds
My hands fastened to my chest
The silent cry on my lips, it hasn’t left yet

The red wine flows all around me
Hasn’t left me all this time
I clasp my hands together as I fall
Watching the shadows in the cloudy sky

No one sees me fall
Mo one sees my last attempt
You never saw me fail, not yet
I’m lying in a pool of pain, it washes away from me

I have ended it at this broken stile, no way forward this time
The waves are pulling me in, I cannot resist
I look to the heavens; I find an end to my search
For my life, but I hadn’t reached it yet