Suicidal Thoughts

As I lay in my bed
I hold a knife to my chest
Thinking of ending my life
Because I'm not as good as the rest

This pain is to much to bear
I thought it was the only way to set myself free
My life has become a living hell
This isn't the way I used to be

I cant stand this pain anymore
I thought dieing was the only way
Trying to make up my mind
But I cant decide to leave or to stay

I'm haunted every single night
Of thoughts about ending my life
I try to hold on to what I have left
But the only thing I have is my knife

I try to black these thoughts out
But they worsen with every passing day
I cant put an end to this pain
It just wont seem to go away

I just wanted to be noticed
To have something to call my own
But theres nothing left for me
I've been forgotten, left all alone

I just wanted someone to go to
But I was never good enough
No one ever noticed me
Seems I don't have the right stuff

My world has become black
Filled with nothing but pain and fear
Why should I even bother
Living in this world another year

I try to make things better
But fail every time I try
I'm broken down on the inside
And all I do is cry

Theres nothing left for me
Nothing that can heal my broken heart
I've been in this pain to long
It's ripping my life apart

As a sit here writing this rhyme
I hold a knife in my hand
Thinking of ending my life
To travel to a higher land