Cancer

It hurts.
its like a knife.
it cuts you, until you cant stand. then, you have to bleed.
you have to try to stop the bleeding,
make it cease,
but it won\'t.
you try to take the pain away,
but it stays.
it keeps haunting you.
then when you take the pain away, and it stops bleeding,
it scabs,
a time of healing.
a time of remembrance that you were cut.
when you think its gone,
and you forget about it.
you look at the cut again,
and there\'s a scar.
an ugly reminder of times that were hard,
of times that just sucked.
thats what cancer is.
when you first find out,
its cutting your heart in two.
then you try to stop the cancer from spreading and it does.
you feel lucky, you feel relieved. then you have to go in for check-ups.
monthly.
they suck.
and they hurt.
it hurts to go through this process. people with cancer\'s eyes,
once so full of life,
so confident,
and happy,
are now dead.
no expressions are shown on their face.
it hurts to see that.
those eyes that used to comfort me,
now make my pain worse.
even when i have no pain,
it creates it.
thats what cancer is.
its pain.
it causes you to think about death. death is in my mind constantly. why should i have to wake up every morning and not be able to see my mothers shining eyes.
it hurts.
so bad.
what should i do?!
it just hurts so bad.
so bad.
too bad.