Mothers hands of metal

So long she saw it, profound within a shadow,
A window, a slumber, never reached, occupied by a monster,
She never had a dream, it’s not the kindest thing,
Never sleeping when you’re dead,
Never feeling happiness when you looking out that window,

Everyone always told her night was black,
But it was really… really a very deep, dark blue,
The pale lights of buildings in the distance,
Reds… a lot of reds… cars they moved,
Like moving stars upon the ground, sound they foretold,

Nothing was really sleeping, that’s what she said,
It’s only a dream, a dream is only a body dreaming, thinking of being awake,
Your never asleep, nothing is... That’s... That’s why I cant she said,
A car past, the light blurring into her eyes,
For down her ashen face tears did roll,

And behind her she could hear the heavy breathing of another,
On her naked neck, the gentle breeze as the cold air from his lips blew past,
She closed her eyes and taking down a gulp of air, her fists clenched,
She didn’t want this to happen, not again, to many nights had she been a victim,
Nothing is asleep even when dead she thought as his hand touched her hair,

She looked down, she felt so ashamed, her legs shaking as she was pushed into bed,
Cold shivers, her spine suddenly seemed to curl,
Cuddling her knees, she didn’t like the window with her back turned,
He touched her leg, the coldness of his.. Its fingertips,
She started shaking, her eyes filling with tears.. Her face so blank,

So blank, she didn’t want this to happen… She hated being so dirty,
The room around was silent, the only light from the white moon above,
She turned just to see its light, filling her eye making them blur,
He’s hand slid up, and he’s breath was over her face,
He blocked the view of the moon, all she could see was his eyes,

They seemed so full of smug happiness, she tried to push him away,
Shaking her head violently she begged.. . No!!
He took her hands.. And held her scarred wrists, pushed them away,
Holding her down, he forced her legs open,
She pushed her knees so hard together they felt bruised, but still it was not enough,

She begged, begged... BEGGED!
He shouted at her, her heart started to beat so fast, she got so scared,
And pushed herself into the covers, as if she could get away,
He told her, ‘see this, it goes in there’ he pointed,
She remembered that lesson since she was young,

A million times this had happened, he told her it was fun,
A game they must play in secret,
And she had promised not to tell, so dirty she felt now,
As he held her down, and forced her to do as she was told,
He had told her of his plans, with his cold fingertips he had told,

She was there for him when he got home,
He had said if she wasn’t she would get hit, so every night she sat in her room,
By the window, just waiting, regretting.. When she heard the door,
And too soon the breath was on her neck,
And too late it was all over, she felt such a wreak,

As he’s left her, after all the pleasure, he went to his room,
He told her in a voice that cut into the memory just how good she was,
She sat on the edge of the bed, so numb, but yet so sad,
She walked over to the window and felt she was being dragged down,
Her small pale hand she pressed against the window,

She looked at all the moving stars below her,
And wished on those stars to be found,
She cried but as she did so got so angry with her dirty self,
The rushing over the creaking floorboards,
She sat on her disgusting, contaminated bed,

Slowly she opened the draw, in it a razor blade lay,
The only thing that make her feel good, the only mother at hand,
She took it out, examined the entire blade, she stroked it admirably with her finder,
She looked at the wrists, so unworthy of anything she felt,
And with the blade she got angry and cut herself, punished herself for letting him hold her down,

She looked at the wounds, she felt so pathetic, she rocked and screamed for help inside,
But all she got was the shadow, a breathing shadow always stood behind,
A sadness over took her, falling to the ground as light shone through her window,
She wept on the floor, tossing and turning as memory flooded back,
And was whipped into her skin,

She cried out loud, so much sound she made,
As he pulled the blade across her skin, again and again, opening up herself,
So sadly she felt all her sin, all her blood flow out,
And now she lay silent on the ground,
Not stirred by a sound again, dead to the world, but never asleep,
She was found and used again, before the ambulance was called,
All the colours of red filled her eyes as she looked up at the moon,
His breath she smelt as she lay there breeding,
her mother in her hand, she saw the stars in the sky,
she was found by light, dead with open eyes