I hate the way things used to be.
I hate it when you look at me.
That\\\'s why we never talk anymore.
Cause of all the times you beat me to the floor.
You pretended like it never happened but I can\\\'t do that.
Every time I see you that memory comes back.
Tears in my eyes.
Silence kills my voice and it\\\'s no surprise.
A flashback of you hitting me.
When we talk that\\\'s all that I can see.
Everything goes black.
The love I had for my mom is never coming back.
You are the bane of my existance.
No matter my or your resistance.
You change it like it never went that way.
But one word is all I have to say.
Beer...
And all of a sudden it all comes clear.
I wish I could of died when I was a kid.
You both used to hit me now look what it did.
I see you drinking yourself to death.
I can feel your corruption in your breath.
I can\\\'t take it anymore.
My love for you is on the floor.
I\\\'m gone...goodbye.
My love for you has just died.
Don\\\'t ask why.
I think we know.
So pity is all that I show.
I\\\'m here 13 years away.
And now I don\\\'t have anything to say.
You act like it wasn\\\'t real.
But in truth I know how you feel.
I know because I feel the same way.
But when I talk to you I have nothing to say.
I think that it\\\'s on the tip of my tongue.
But when I try to say it the word comes undone.
So I act like you don\\\'t phaze me.
But in truth I\\\'m trapped and can\\\'t get free.
From this memory.
The one that you engraved in my mind.
When I think of it my anger starts to grind.
I want to pay you back.
But my thoughts of you go black.
Some mom...You find that strange.
But the memory comes back like a boomerang.
In your eyes memories of violence.
In your voice nothing but silence.
Yeah, I know what your thinking.
I can tell because your voice starts sinking.
Down it goes.
The word from your mouth no longer flows.
The memories we share aren\\\'t good.
So I pretend I don\\\'t know you and live my life like I should.
Scars that run deep.
Memories that haunt me when I sleep.
Yeah you remember them.
They come back time and time again.
Over the phone I can hear your tears drop to the ground.
When you cry I know the sound.
I remember it from my first breakdown...
To the reader...this is a story of my life if it bothers you or you don\'t like it...keep it to yourself or piss off cause it\'s killing me to write this...
