Painted

Everyday she'd go the same way
A smile painted on
Covering up the tears
Until everyone was gone

She'd go home
Where she'd be all-alone
Erasing her fake identity
She’d bleed as she was on her own

Everyday her mom would ask “Rachael how was your day?”
She'd put on her smile and say “Everything’s great.”
She'd run up to her room
Lock the door and no longer wait

She'd open the drawer, unlock a box
Inside from there she took out a knife
Scarring her wrist
She attempted to end life

The next day she'd go to school
With her masks on so well
Fooling everyone with her disguise
Nobody realized she was going through hell

The day would end, her smile would vanish again
Up to her room, she'd paint her arm with red
She'd wipe it away and cover the pain
Without any trace that she had once bled

Another day came, her mask was worn
She was again painted smiling
From the outside she seemed fine
But in the inside the tears were falling

Again at home
She would start her old routine
Ending it with a smile
So the pain remained unseen

The day would end, her smile would vanish again
Up to her room, she'd paint her arm with red
She'd wipe it away and cover the pain
Without any trace that she had once bled

Another day came, her mask was worn
She was again painted smiling
From the outside she seemed fine
But in the inside the tears were falling

Again at home
She would start her old routine
Ending it with a smile
So the pain remained unseen

This kept going, for months on end
Tricking everyone she knew
Her pain was hidden up so well
Until one day out of the blue

She was in her room alone
This time crying her eyes out
Nobody could see her
And nobody knew what it was about

She held the knife in her hand
Starting to slice through her skin
The blood kept falling to the floor
In a puddle now, this time she would win

Deeper in she went, not feeling the pain
Crimson fell, more and more
She didn't get what she wanted
Things aren't like before

Hours past, her arm was filled with lines
Only she knew what they were all for
She hid it then and she hides it now
Her thoughts stop moving, as she falls to the floor

The next morning her mom walked in
Devastated by what she saw
She couldn’t even think of why
She was just left in awe

She bent down in tears of course
Stroked her daughter's cheek and found a note
She picked it up and unfolded it
Slowly reading what she wrote

“You are the betrayer
I was a good friend
I kept our love a secret
But now my life ends

Why is it you don't see me
Have I lost your heart?
You still have mine
But seem to tear it apart

I don't remember what I did
Why am I left this way
I tried to be faithful
Each and every single day

You are the one I loved
The one that held MY heart
But what is it now
Because it's been hit with a dart

What happened to best friends?
What about our passion
The love we held so strong
It was much more than just attraction

You seemed to forget our love
So I cut with my knife
Bleeding out the pain
I finally end my life

I’ve drowned in my blood
And I'm sorry for the tears
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
But this is the only way to stop my fears

I'll always care for you
I will always hold our love
You will forever carry my heart
And I will watch you from above

You may be the one I love
But you also make me cry
You're no longer by my side
So I'm left with no choice but to die

Always stay happy
I really hope you try
This was my only option
So I'm left with…goodbye”

Her mom couldn't hold back
She flooded out her tears
Couldn't figure anything out
“How did she hide for so many years?”

The day of the funeral came
He watched from a distance far away
Even though she may never know this
But she was his angel in every way

Why he isolated himself, there is a reason for her
He is suffering from cancer and is expected to die soon
But now when his death arrives, they'll be up in heaven once again, reunited together.

© Copyright Christina Gomes 2005