Sometimes i wanna ask
if she’s ever thought about it
if she’s ever lain there wondering
if it would fix it all
i wanna ask if she’s ever looked in a mirror
and hated what she saw
and if she asked herself if to see nothing
would not be better?
I want to know if she’s ever wondered as I have
if it’s not the answer I seek?
Is it not the cure all
for all my ills?
for all my slights, and pains and guilty secrets, and failings?
I want to ask but I am forever a coward.
Afraid to ask,
for info or help
afraid to do it
afraid of pain afraid to hurt
afraid to cry and to make cry.
Forever afraid, and forever wondering.
I want to ask her if she’s ever wondered as I have,
but I look once more, then turn away,
and turn off the vanity lights.