Is Anyone Out There?

Please I beg of you, kill me
I don’t know who this is directed at
Maybe it’s directed at me as screwed as it sounds
Just anyone who’s out there listening
You can end my life any way you wish
Whether it be painful and slow
Or quick and easy, I shall not complain
But you must know that I have tried
It’s just that this life, this depression
It’s getting the better of me
I hardly ever see any light anymore
I’m engulfed in complete darkness
Nothing makes me happy anymore
And I’m screwing up this so called life
With my cutting and then lying about it
I’m screwing it up by pushing people away
The ones who I love the most
So I’m sorry ________, _____ and ____
You don’t even know that I’m purposefully staying offline
But it’s only because I don’t want to hurt you
I don’t want to accidentally break down
Telling you that I’m actually not alright
And that yes I am still cutting
I don’t like to lie to you but I feel I must
I only want the best life for you guys
I lie in bed praying that God will guide you
That he will let you be happy and your life will be great
Even if it means I must have your pain
But I will take it all because I love you so very much
It’s the least I can do for all that you’ve done for me
Especially after the horrible person that I am
Even if you don’t see that person in me, it’s there
I don’t know if anyone’s listened to my plea
If anyone’s out there, if anyone cares
But all I ask is that you kill me…

* Yet another random one of me typing, letting my emotions flow and this is what came of it all… It’s a screwed up poem but true….