Time Will Tell

Why do I always screw things up
Seems I'm never good enough
Somehow our relationship feels worthless
I don't know why, I don't know where to begin
My depression, My stupid problems always get in the way
Insecurity always wrong
It's my fault no matter what you say
I want to cut
I want to make it seem OK
I'm stronger than that,
I know I am
I can get through it without giving in
Blood seems so tempting
I need to hurt myself as much as I hurt you
You say I don't hurt you but the look in your eyes tells all
You can't hide it from me
You forget
Forget how well I know you
I can tell by your body language
I wonder why you don't hate me
I would
I do
I can see I'm slowly killing you
Slowly pulling you down into my world of hate
Let me go
I don't want to see you the way I am
I never want you to see through my eyes
No one should have to see that look in peoples eyes
The look full of pain and confusion
I remember that night so well
The first time I saw that look on your face
It killed me
I never want to see it again
Yet I do so much to hurt you
Please forgive me
for I am so sorry
If you left life wouldn't be worthwhile
Suicide my only answer
For I don't want to face it all alone again
I've tried it before
Don't think I won't again
I guess only time will tell
It'll tell whether I live or die