If you saw what i did

I'd rather see you dead
than seeing you with him
id rather kill myself with a needle or a pin
id rather see my family
shot in front of me
I'm sure that you would too
if you saw what I'm seeing now
please don't do it...
please don't let me see...
please I beg you don't make let be

If you saw what i did
when i looked into your eyes
you'd never have left
if only you knew
the way it feels
to be ripped in two
you'd come running
never leave
and we would always be

but even if i knew
that all of this would happen
all the joy
is worth the pain tenfold
at all at once
a single shot
and in my hand id hold
all the promises you broke
and ask you what you had to say
and id listen
but I'm not that strong
it would kill me to hear it all again
the broken promises that you left
i don't even have anymore
so in this life
I'm left with nothing
except this letter
and my knife
so on this night i cry the last time
as i take my life...

©jacob