Behind and unlocked door

There’s always a time in everyone’s life
Where you don’t know what to choose
There always seems to be tough decisions
And I always seem to lose

I feel as if im going back
To how I used to be
Not the happy, confident
Lovable me

I am once again
The one that lays alone in her bed
Having sad thoughts
And wishing she was dead

I’m not quite sure what happened
Or how I got this way
All I know is that im starting to feel like this again
Every single day

It happened once before
About a year back
My life faded from happy colors
To a world with nothing but black

I couldn’t wake up one single morning
Without the thought of death on my mind
And now that I think about it
I thought I left this all behind

I feel as if my past is creeping up on me
Now that I least expected it
But the pain was just outside an unlocked door
Waiting anxiously to hit

I try to close my eyes
Without blinking out a tear
The memories make my heart ache
Because I feel I need you here

So once again
I will lay in my bed
With thoughts of death
Flowing through my head

I’m sorry to all
For having to pretend
I just pray that one day
This will all finally end