I Keep Looking for You (Companion Poem to "Her Brother's Gh

~*Companion to "Sweet Memories" and "Her Brother's Ghost"*~

I keep looking for you
In the places you're supposed to be
But although my vision's 20/20
I feel like I can't see.

Your truck is empty
Sitting out by the barn
I remember that night it wouldn't run
You just shook your head and muttered, "Darn."

The December air had nipped your fingers
As you got into the old Dodge
"It won't make it past Harren Road!" Dad yelled.
But you were already backing out of the garage.

I'll never forget the way mom collapsed
When she saw the two policemen
And the local clergy
When they told her about the wreck you'd been in.

You'd made it half-way down Harren Road
When the tires hit the ice
And you plummeted over the ridge
Into the cold winter night.

So now you're not at school
In Spanish class sitting next to me
You'd been a straight-A senior
Wanted by all the girls, and the star quarterback on the football team.

Dad might not coach next year
He misses you too much
All of the helmets will have a black #9 on the side
To give the sport a little bit of a memorial touch.

You aren't at Jenny's house
Your prized 4-wheeler is collecting dust
Your friends quit coming over every weekend
Your room is the way you left it - untouched.

Where are you Jonathan?
I've looked in the horse barn
In the tree house we built four years ago
All through the woods and over the farm.

You aren't coming back
And I know this is true
But my hope never dies
I keep looking for you.

~*In Loving Memory of Jonathan*~