Living a lie

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This pain I feel...it's just too much.
It's so overwhelming and I'm losing tough.

These people I love are beginning to slip away.
My heart is aching and it hurts more everyday.

Life at home keeps me in hell.
I'm living a lie and no one call tell.

Everything around me is falling apart.
I want to fix it, but I don't know where to start

It's become obvious to me that I'm useless in this world.
I don't want to believe it, but I cant hide from it anymore.

So I'll ease my pain for the first time in weeks.
I swore I wouldn't but it's my only source of release.

I dig the blade in as I lay here in bed.
I feel my pain fainting as my arm is painted red.

The deeper I cut, the more pain that flows out.
no one will miss me when I'm dead, I have no doubt.

I begin to dig deeper in attempt to clear my head.
Everything is flashing before me and I know I'll soon be dead.

The walls begin to spin as I push the blade further in.
I feel time slipping away and it's just a matter of when.

I begin to breathe slower as i recollect on all the painful times.
Suddenly my thoughts turn to the one who always helps me shine.

What am I doing? I swore I wouldn't do this anymore.
Much to my surprise, I do have something to live for.

I begin to feel faint as these thoughts rush through my head.
I realize all this now, but its too late...I'm dead!