Change

Every time I think or even look at it,
I get reminded of you and what you said,
The day when food became my worst enemy,
Was the day it all got to my head,

Some said I was a twig to thin to even see,
Others say that I did not deserve this pain,
Carbs will make u fat so do not eat them,
I wish I said f**k off are you insane,

Yet I continue to cry, and loose this weight,
Any way I can, you know what I mean,
Soon I gave up when it didn't change a thing,
And resorted to other options I’ve never even seen,

Suicide became a hope to loose the life I grew into,
Cutting became my release to escape the real,
Numerous times I tried and failed,
But tonight is different I can feel,

I'll take my life and make sure it works,
I wasn't meant to live this life through self harm,
But those words sank in and changed my life,
As you can now see all those scars upon my arm.

© Samantha Jayne Reed
Wrote on January 31st, 2005