This is it

I know you don’t understand my reasoning
I know you don’t believe what I say
But our dreams and hopes were everything I wanted
As I sit looking at your picture today
I know that you don’t understand my family
Or what goes on deep inside my heart
I cannot lose them no matter what they have done
And to do that you and I must be apart
I know that I will never be happy
I know that you would give me my dream
But the pressure I am under here today
I cannot take it I just want to scream
I am so not the perfect person
I hurt those who love me the most
And I know you will never understand that
But I did cause more trouble than most
Since I was a child I have always been able
To bury all hurt deep down inside
And that’s what I will do with my memories of you
Alongside all the past tears I have cried
I’ll remember your face, your smile and your smell
I’ll remember how you made me smile
I’ll bury my feelings and stop everyone’s pain
Always remembering the dreams you gave me for a while
As you said you will get over me, move on and search
For your family, your soul mate, your wife
And you are right to say I will regret this
For I will dream of you for the rest of my life
I will miss you my darling with all of my heart
I will put things right with my family and at home
But that doesn’t mean to say that it meant nothing to me
It just means in my heart without you I will be alone
And regardless of what you can say and can do
You can’t take away these feelings I feel
And regardless of whether you understand or not
What I felt about us was real
So maybe your right when you say that I am weak
Maybe it is true that I’ll be in their shadow
That they will always try to control my life
To keep the peace I will let them you know
I know I was stupid to want to be happy
I was stupid to think they would understand
So I will do what I can to repair this damage
To forget the touch of your hand
In all of this the thing I’m guilty of most of all
Is making you think I’m strong when I am weak
When it is easy for the people that I love the most
To manipulate me with my spineless streak
The rest of our dreams the plans and the hopes
Well they meant everything to me for a while
So I will just plod on with my life and keep it all in
And paint on my external smile