Reality hits hard

In a crowded room of faceless people,
I feel so alone,
Smoking on my Marlboro red,
I dream of home,
No matter how much i hate her,
I love my friends,
And for this period of time there has been a space,
a gap,
and i miss every single one of them,
Their stupid habits,
Their dumb acts,
because really its what made them unique,
The real world is so ugly,
Its miserable and cold,
I no longer matter,
Just another face to grow tiered and old,
And i look back at my friends,
The ones that have stuck there through thick and thin,
And wonder,
will they be there in the vary end,
Because everything is so dark,
And the light is so dim its almost gone,
Reality has truly hit,
I traded my childhood for my freedom,
mabe i would have died there,
mabe not,
Should i have stayed and tried,
Or am i supposed to be here,
Smoking my Marlboro red,
Dreaming of the little girl,
I had to leave behind?