I’m trying to get through this,
Make it so you don’t corrupt my mind.
I’m trying to get over you,
Make it so I don’t continue to be blind.
But when you went and hugged me,
I knew within my head,
That even though I’m holding onto you
I wont go with you to bed.
I told myself I wouldn’t let you kiss me,
I wouldn’t let your lips press against my own.
So when we wrapped our arms around each other
I began to let go,
But as you felt my arms leaving you, you pulled me in closer.
My heart began to cry,
Why are you doing this…?
My soul began to die,
How can I control it…?
I pressed my head against you,
I could hear the beats pounding harder.
I let go again,
I can’t let you do this to me…
As I pulled away from you,
You took my body,
Your lips met mine just like they had times before.
I couldn’t tell you no…
I couldn’t push mine away from yours,
Once again,
I let you use my me,
Once again you used your friend.
It makes me sad because you think I’m okay.
Okay with us being like this.
You think I don’t mind,
That I don’t care.
You’re only just my friend,
But something you don’t know
Is I have fallen much to fast.
My heart is being held within your hands,
And each day you squeeze it harder than the last.
You’re the one I’m thinking of before I go to sleep.
You’re the one my dreams can never defeat.
When I wake in the morning,
It’s you I wish was there,
But how can this be when I’m the only one feeling this,
And you’re to blind to see.
I know friends who are like this aren’t suppose to fall,
But it’s hard not to when you are my all.
I wish I could tell you all that I have surrounding my thoughts,
But I don’t want to loose you.
I can handle all the benefits.
I can handle us just being friends.
What I can’t handle is you using me,
And you acting like I’m just some doll.
Even though I have fallen for you
And the pain from the cuts are deep,
All I want from you is to act like a friend
And understand I don’t want your deceit.
