The Night I died

This poem is for my mom who died december 28, 2001 at the age of 28. its not my best but please comment and vote. thanx.

what fun i thought it was going to be,
staying up all night,
just you, my cousin, and me!

we were having a blast,
we did so much fun stuff,
it all went by too fast.

I wish it could have went by slower,
I wish that night it was just you and me,
because by the next morning I started feeling lower.

I should have woke you up,
I knew what was coming,
but I guess it was just a case of a little bad luck.

I wish I could have done something about it,
instead I just laid my hand upon yours,
but I guess thats how god wanted it to be: my life turned to s***.

im getting better now,
but i need more guidance,
just let me know how.

that night was supposed to be fun,
instead it turned out like crap,
and thats when the worst had begun.

you lye there in bed,
while we were next door,
but i should have been holding you instead.

i wish i just got to say good bye,
but i didn't get to,
not even one last time.

you wont answer me back,
as i talk to you now.
what is this power i lack?

can't we please just have 2 more minutes together?
please please please,
just to say i love you, i miss you, or what ever.

the night you went away,
was the night that i died
it was the day i cried and cried and cried.